Dailytriumph's Blog

The Now

dailytriumph — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 05:12:28 +0000

My goals are distilled into one. I’m tired of the cycle, one day happy the next day sad. Feeling good or bad because of a word, a gesture, an event – meaningless and out of my control. And the chatter, the non-stop analysis, judgement, labeling concern, deconstruction, thinking that goes on in my mind is literally driving me crazy, driving me away from the only thing that matters: whatever is going on right now.

I’ve had tastes. After a difficult climb I smiled purely, ate slowly and without concern. After a near death experience the banana I ate was the most delicious fruit I have ever eaten. During sex, drunk, driving, listening to music; sometimes I touch myself deeply and am in the moment, at peace.

I am devoting my life to this moment. To enlightenment, and the escape from the unimportant into the now.

“When one though arises, another thought follows. When the first thought springs from enlightenment, all subsequent thoughts are true. Through delusion, one makes everything untrue. Delusion is not caused by objectivity; it is the result of subjectivity. Hold the nose-ring tight and do not allow even a doubt.”

Lessons learned while cleaning up after my cat

dailytriumph — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 15:22:51 +0000

My cat pooped on my carpet last night and I was pissed at her. She had been so good for a week and now this crap. Putting carpet cleaner on it, I wondered whether will it come out and will I have to give her up. It put me in a shitty state.

I didn’t touch her the rest of the night and woke up in a crappy mood. She too was looking at me funny.

While finishing the cleanup I reflected: its an animal, she doesn’t even remember what she did. My anger has nowhere to go, it just festers and ruins our relationship. My reaction is my responsibility.

I’ll remember that next time someone takes a dump and I have to clean it up. I can clean it up, I can give them up, and/or I can forgive them. Being angry at them is just not that useful.

People are human

dailytriumph — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 01:17:16 +0000

I’m reading a book called A Brief History of Nearly Everything which is not that brief and does not cover most things. What it does do a good job of is describing the personalities and personal lives of the giants that created our society today, science as we know it, and our understanding of the universe we live in.

What a bunch of fuckups! Some were jealous, others timid, one was so shy he literally ran away from people. Then you have your sociopaths, extremists, and other assortment of crazies. Of course some were “normal” people too. Some were successful, others weren’t, some rich and some poor. What I am trying to get at is that they were normal people and had their own problems, as we all do.

I made a mistake recently and hurt someone. I won’t repeat my mistake. I don’t feel guilty at all. No one is perfect. I see that as great progress.

New focus

dailytriumph — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 03:33:17 +0000

For now I am taking my mind of women and work. There has been some progress, dates and different positions, yet the whole edifice is built on sand. One day I am happy and everything is easy the next day everything is hard and the sun is filtered gray.

Happiness that comes from achievement, winning, girls is so damn fleeting it is like a drug. The highs make for stark lows.

So I will focus on myself and not on this uncontrollable world. Some good advice from a book about the game of life:

* I decide what is important in life, I make the rules
* I keep my own score
* There is no winning, losing or quitting until I die
* Unpredictable, uncontrollable, and unreasonable outside forces will influence my life. A major challenge of the game is to deal with these forces.**

Malcolm Gladwell in Outliers makes the point – so much of success is luck based. Being at the right place at the right time with the right upbringing.

I’ll wait for my moment of opportunity, and if it comes I am ready to take it. For now though I am breathing deeply and practicing living. It’s the only game in town.

** Getting Things Done When You Are Not In Charge by Geoffrey Bellman

Who am I (now)

dailytriumph — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 23:55:35 +0000

When I first started this blog I was in a difficult place in my life. I had some criminal charges, no money, lived at home with my parents, and didn’t what I was going to do. Looking back at my first post fills me with pride. I set about to change my life and I succeeded. This is my situation now:

1. A great job
2. Own apartment
3. Capital
4. Better social skills

My goals for this blog are:
1. Share ideas and start discussions about life, happiness, success, women, hobbies, books, and whatever catches my fancy.
2. Track and share progress on my personal goals.
3. Analyze problems and propose solutions – my own, people that I know, societies.

I’m open to feedback and suggestions. This time I’d like my blog to find a wider audience. Look forward to hearing from me again soon.

Reset

dailytriumph — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 04:55:02 +0000

Hi people,

I am restarting my blog. This is my announcement.

8/31/11

Insight #Awesome

dailytriumph — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 03:37:58 +0000

I only regret those things I didn’t do.

Good motivation for talking to the girl, writing that blog post, making the call, and waking the fuck up.

Update

dailytriumph — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 05:06:18 +0000

Obviously I have not been updated this blog. Really, 2 to 3 readers is not a lot of incentive, especially because I tend to keep up with you guys anyway. Regardless, this is a good place for my thoughts. It seems like in the past I only post when I’m feeling good, but the interesting stuff is when I’m uncertain, insecure, uncomfortable and learn from it.

Lately its been happening a lot. Mondays are great as usual, but when Thursday comes around my energy is spent and the last two days drag. Its taken a full day of veging to come back to myself. Will be interesting to see what happens this week. Happiness is after all a choice.

I’ve been keeping a list of insights as I get them. Here they are so far.

I learn quickly and best when I single focus and completely immerse myself in the environment. – Learned this one at a Magic tournament. After three days of non-stop playing and watching I was thinking on a much deeper level than when I started. The point of course is to completely immerse myself in what I am doing at the moment. Extraneous thoughts or the lack of attention keep me from learning fully. Of course, it pays it focus on the right stuff for me.

I learn when I am around people that are good at what I am interested in and I observe, think and interact. – Goes with the above I think. Being stuck in a boring conversation is the worst. Good thing I can always observe others and myself and make it interesting.

Embracing Change is embracing the Now. – when I’m in the moment I have no expectations of the past or what will happen. I’m here, present, and that allows me to flow with change, rather than fight change due to my preconceptions.

Don’t sweat the small stuff (me) with people. – This is because the sales team is taking their frustration with the new system I am setting up on me because it is new and more work for me. Its a great learning experience to be around people who don’t like me, especially since historically I’ve cared about that a good deal. Glad to say that I hardly care anymore. Besides, if they hate me, I own them:)

Relax my body. – The mind/body connection is amazing. When my body is tense I am tense, when my body is relaxed so is my mind.

In a world with no good or bad, no right or wrong…I can do whatever I want. – I’ll let you all think about that one.

Later my friends and only droogs.

Bullshit on the pickup industry

dailytriumph — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 04:31:24 +0000

I’m at the gym. I see a cute girl, I look her in the eye, she looks up at the tv screen. I continue working out. I know I’m going to talk to this girl because I wrote down that I will talk to the next cute girl I see. I’m walking, our eyes meet again, without thinking I walk over and she takes of her headphones. I say hi I think you are cute. She says hi and waits. Having nothing else to say I ask if we can hang out. She says yes. Done.

0 banter. 0 lines. 0 body language.

Keys to success – in my opinion, doing what I told myself I would do is the success. The number is gravy.

Making career decisions

dailytriumph — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 20:22:55 +0000

I have been deciding what to do with my life in terms of a career and I see four paths in front of me: law school, business school, medical school, and science. I have a lot of criteria for what I want my career to be. It should be exciting, interesting, take care of my needs, add value, be in line with my values, involve travel and adventure. That is a lot of criteria and therefore I have been writing, reading, and soul searching for my life purpose, to use that as a frame for deciding a career and for living my life. This technique doesn’t work. There are too many variable and not enough information. In fact, I could see myself finding a career in all four of those fields that is fulfilling and lucrative. So, the next goal is to pick the most important criteria, pursue that, and have faith that those other criteria will be satisfied in the moment.

I’m not talking about an up-in-the-clouds heuristic here. I’m saying that I should make a choice based on potential income, career advancement, job stability and find the path of least resistance. Within that path there is always potential to find fulfillment and joy in life. I haven’t determined my one global criteria though, and maybe that is too simple. Perhaps a blended approach is better, one that takes into account the higher level ideals and lower level needs.

Based on the criteria above the path that makes the most sense to me is law school. I have the necessary background, it is not that much more school, and I have the skills. The potential income is six figures and more, career advancements leads to the supreme court or to upper level management, and the job will last as long as the law will. Furthermore, there is satisfaction in making a difference, potentially travel and adventure, and the subject is fascinating.

These are my initial thoughts. I will continue to write, sleep, and think about this until I make a firm decision. Then thought will give way to action and we will see what I can really do.